Be Here and Breathe

Last week I had this perfect plan. One that involved a perfect meal plan, a perfect workout schedule, and even a perfect day devoted entirely to writing with my friends Jody and Audi.

Seriously perfect.

And after a particularly perfect day that ended with an awesome cardio barre class, I was feeling pretty darn good about myself.

I lasted about three days on this plan when I got hit with a weird, unexpected stomach bug. And while the acute symptoms of this little sickness lasted all of ten hours, it left my perfect little self completely derailed.

Instead of ending the week in fervent productivity, I spent the better part of four days in my pj's, eating apple sauce and listening to cheesy romance novels on my phone. My worn out body couldn’t muster the strength to do much more.

After bemoaning the loss of time, though, there was this one moment when I was lying on the couch with my daughter curled up next to me. There was no agenda and nowhere we had to be. So we ate cheerios together and looked into each other’s eyes, sharing little inside jokes without saying much of a word.

For a few sweet seconds, I took her in, with all of her precious and dainty charm, and marvelled at the miraculous gift of her presence.

It was this tiny piece of magic in the midst of an otherwise miserable couple of days. Something I didn’t plan for at all. Something I experienced because I had no other choice but to be present.

I had nothing else to offer life in that moment but just me.

These are the moments when life gets my attention with its own beauty and grace, reminding me that, while I am an active participant in this journey, sometimes I am also meant to be a witness.

Sometimes I am meant to put down the pen, turn off the phone, and step away from the grind, in order to bear witness. Sometimes life has gifts of its own gifts to bestow that require nothing other than my own undivided attention.

Sometimes I’m here on this earth to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

And these are the moments when I finally feel myself letting go. When each little cell in my body releases the tension and pressure and exhausting expectations I carry with me all the time. When letting go means I can start breathing again.

So here’s my affirmation for this week:

Be here, and breathe.

That’s it. This is a week of being present. Of letting go, taking deep breaths, and bearing witness to the beauty of life all around me.

I’m sending thoughts of pumpkins, sunsets and starry nights to you this week, hoping you breathe deeply and drink it in.

Cheers!