You, My Dear Girl, Are Not Alone

This weekend I went to the Hope*Writers workshop in Charlotte, North Carolina. It was inspiring and intellectually disruptive in the right kind of way, and it gave me a chance to spend some serious time thinking about my writing. But one of the best parts of the weekend was getting to connect with some really amazing women.

On the last day of the workshop, as is typical at this sort of event, there was a call to action. We each wrote down one actionable goal in regards to our writing that we committed to accomplish in the next six weeks. Then the facilitators made a similar commitment to mail us our goal, and asked each of us to walk to the front of the auditorium and drop our envelopes in a basket.

The act had all the personal impact you would expect- I felt the commitment solidifying in my heart as I physically stood up and moved my body through the motions of decision. And it felt really good.

Then I sat back down and watched the rest of the women around me stand up and do the same. Hundreds of lovely, remarkable women making decisions to create change in their own individual worlds, through the power of their writing.

In that moment, I saw the lightbulb in my head, and I realized this- if every single woman here follows through on her goal, that's a lot of serious change. There is limitless power in this room. We really can make a difference.

A lot of this life journey feels almost unbearably solitary at times, each one of us a lone pilgrim treading the uneven terrain in quiet, desperate pursuit of our dreams. We sew the seeds of our plans in the quiet stillness of night, and pray for the strength to till the soil with devotion in the morning.

We don't often get to witness the compound effect of our choices, to see ourselves in a larger context. We don't see how we are one of many, a thread in a tapestry, woven in among countless other peacemakers toiling towards redemption. We are an army, and we are not alone.

I saw all of this in that one moment, and I felt an indescribable sense of hope. We do have power. We are power, and we are harnessing that power to make a positive difference in our world.

What a beautiful thing.

So, my dear fly girls, know this today. You are not alone. You are an army, and there are many others like you, with you, and rooting for you today from afar.

Your choices, decisions, and commitments matter. They hold weight, purpose, and promise. If I will keep my promises and you will keep yours, then together we will do some seriously great things.

We are in this together, and we will make a difference- together.

Cheers to you, all of my dear sisters. May grace and peace find you on your journey today.

Taking the Plunge, One Toe at a Time

This week I get the pleasure of sharing the thoughts and wisdom of my dear friend, Danielle Owens, a blogger and world traveler. Here she talks about the challenges of making big decisions, and some tips she's learned along the way.

My apologies to our friends, family and cornered guests at dinner parties for conversations had between 2008 and 2014, because it’s highly likely my husband and I talked your ear off about wanting to live abroad. Or quit our jobs and travel for a year. Or volunteer long-term with a foreign NGO. We bounced myriad scenarios off anyone who would listen, without actually doing anything about it.

Fast forward a couple of years and Cody and I have finished a two year work assignment in Bogotá, Colombia. This summer was spent on a temporary contract in Madrid, Spain, and we’re about to embark out on another long term work related adventure.

The weeks leading up to that first move are a blur, but the moment we took the first step remains crystal clear. I wish I could tell you about the courage and decisiveness we had in regards to our decision to move abroad. Instead, it was more of an exasperated dare on my part.

One weekend afternoon when conversation drifted to our theoretical future, I said we had to take some sort of action or put the whole idea of travel/living abroad to bed for awhile. So, we put a date on our dream. Three months later, on the exact agreed upon deadline, was the first baby step: Cody told his boss he wanted to throw his hat in the ring for an international opportunity with his company. We were living in Colombia less than six months later.

The idea of making big decisions hasn’t exactly become less daunting—we’re still the same people who talk scenarios to death and take our time inching toward action. But, I have learned a few things that give me confidence when my toes are curling over the edge of the pool.

1. I believe that God gives us each unique desires and prods us toward them. Our wish to travel and be abroad kept bubbling up inside us for a reason—God was prodding us in the direction we were meant to go. As soon as we stepped forward, He rushed in to meet us.
2. It’s ok if it’s hard. I struggled to adjust during our first few months of living abroad. I struggled to adjust again this summer in Madrid. Stepping outside of your comfort zone feels awkward, but that isn’t necessarily a sign to turn back. Even through the challenges I could find brightness, because I knew I was where I was supposed to be.
3. Everyone does it differently. Living all over the world has allowed us to see that there are as many different dreams and life paths and versions of success as there are people. There’s no one way toward your goal. It’s ok to dive right in, but don’t beat yourself up if you’d rather dip your toes first.

So whether your preference is leans toward tip-toeing or taking giant leaps, here’s to moving closer to where we’re meant to be.

Danielle is the creator of NoLongerNative.com, a blog dedicated to the many challenges, perks, and pitfalls of expat life.

Naked Lady Parts

A few weeks ago I saw an article on Facebook about a peaceful protest held at the Republican National Convention. It consisted of about 100 women posing nude, in response to the negative rhetoric towards women of Donald Trump.

Now hang with me, because I’m not here to talk politics. That’s not what got my attention.

I read the article, and there they were, the pictures of all those brave females, baring it all for the world to see.

And here’s what struck me.

They were all from different walks of life- but what I saw were bodies that looked quite a bit like mine. Two eggs, sunny side up. Round abdomens, full hips, sturdy thighs. Somehow, despite all those differences, the bodies looked more alike than anything else.

And that’s when I got the light bulb- what if this is what the female body actually looks like? What if this is normal? And what if the ideal I’m aspiring to is… not real? Like really not real?

This seems elementary, right? We all know this. We know that magazines are photoshopped and supermodels subsist on a diet of coffee and cocaine. But mostly this concept is theoretical. We don’t actually sit around staring at naked bodies for the sake of realistic comparison. Women (especially of a certain age and life experience) are not socialized to show their bodies in this way.

So here’s a strange thought- what if we’re socialized to hide, and this keeps us from seeing normal, so that we keep buying into what’s not?

I recently got together with my writing partners, Jody Lee Cates, and Audi Swift, and we talked late into the night on this very topic. About the pervasive and insidious nature of our culture’s narrative about the female body.

Towards the end of our conversation, this question emerged for us-

What would it be like to be free from it all? How would our lives be different if we could live completely untethered from the pressures of this narrative?

And you know something? We were stumped. The thought was so strange and foreign we drew a blank.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question. What would it be like to be free? I still don’t have an answer, which is a very curious thing to me. And I’m wondering if I could invite you into our conversation?

I’m interested to know if you have an answer to that question, and if you might be willing to share it with us? If this resonates with you, take a moment to visit my Contributor Page.

If you’re stumped like us, would you consider engaging your imagination this week to consider what that new reality might look like?

I think there’s a lot of untapped potential in each of us. A giant nugget of solid gold brilliance lying dormant under the weight of a cultural narrative that’s selling us a lie.

I also think that the world could really benefit from the sharing of that brilliance. Maybe imagining the possibilities of that something new is the first step. I believe in you, in all of us, and I hope we can begin this journey of discovery together.